You know that smartphone you love, that ultimate expression of handheld convergence that some would call a mobile computer? It's crap. Or so says octogenarian, Martin Cooper, former lead engineer at Motorola said to have invented the handheld cellphone -- really, his name is on the "Radio telephone system" patent and he's credited with making the very first private handheld cellphone call from a busy New York City street on April 3rd, 1973. Well Marty doesn't like those newfangled handsets. In fact, according to our sterling Mr. Cooper, "Our future I think is a number of specialist devices that focus on one thing that will improve our lives." Words uttered this week during a conference in Madrid. Imagine it: a future where we carry a portable radio, film camera, wind-up watch, Kaypro luggable computer, HP calculator, and Atari handheld... oh wait, that was the eighties.

Considering that Motorola has been yearning to duplicate the monumental success of the RAZR with, well, anything, we can't quite decide what to make of the firm's desperate / throw back attempt to conjure sales with an all new StarTac. Sure, the Moto mainstay holds a dear place in many of our hearts, and even the short-lived 2004 edition was appreciated for its nostalgic flair, but the 3.2-ounce StarTac III MS900 just seems a bit too vintage to actually enjoy in this millennium. Aside from such glaring omissions as a basic camera and external LCD, it does sport a very pocket-friendly design, simplistic style, MP3 playback, an electronic dictionary, questionable e-book functionality, GPS, and 128MB of built-in memory. Additionally, you'll find a two-inch QVGA display, mobile banking abilities, 160 minutes of talk time (300 hours in standby), and a mysterious "biorhythm" function to boot. As expected, there's no set price or release date for this blast from the past just yet, but with such niceties looming just around the corner, we've serious doubts about folks diving back into yesteryear with their new handsets.

[Via UnwiredView]