Make no mistake, we've seen some fairly boneheaded moves made by technologically-illiterate bank robbers, but the latest case involves a fellow who was quite the opposite of that. Yes, the 20 to 25 year male who decided to hold up an Alabama bank the day before his taxes were due actually did the deed without hanging up his cellphone. And there's surveillance footage to prove it. Quite honestly, we can't imagine what the conversation here would've been like, but at least he made the most of whatever minutes he had remaining as a free man, right?

[Via textually]

Apple's no stranger to having its wares ganked (a lot), but this one really has us scratching our noggins some kind of fierce. Apparently a couple of meddlesome 20-somethings working at a Salem, New Hampshire Apple store managed to scoot away with somewhere between 330 and 700 iPhones. After somehow stuffing that many handsets into a panel van / pickup truck / privately owned C-130, they seemingly sweet talked a single high-roller into snatching up their entire stash for upwards of $138,000 -- which could be a bargain (or not) depending on the actual quantity included in the deal, internal capacity, etc. Minutiae aside, both individuals are currently residing under the strong arm of the law (surveillance cameras are hard to dodge), but curiously, nothing is mentioned about the buyer who didn't find spending over a hundred large with a couple of average joes (who just happened to have an inordinately large amount of iPhones for sale) the least bit odd.

[Thanks, Scott]

Rest assured, we've seen some brainless criminals in our day, but this one ranks pretty high on the list. Reportedly, a (potentially inebriated) individual waltzed into a police station and frantically announced that his phone had been stolen at gunpoint. When the detective called the number of the phone reportedly stolen, however, a ring was heard from the "victim's" pocket. After pondering what the criminal hoped to gain from the situation, we here at Engadget HQ came up empty, and apparently, the police involved in the situation were equally stumped -- so stumped, in fact, that they issued a statement entitled "Dumbest criminal?" with details of the event in a local newspaper. We'd say that sums it up fairly accurately.

[Image courtesy of FOTW, thanks LordFarkward]

If a burglar with exquisite taste somehow managed to snag a million dollar Goldvish, asking for just $185,000 for its safe return wouldn't be too far-fetched. Apparently, the mobile in question wasn't of the princely variety, as this particular thief managed to lower his asking price to a rock-bottom $200. The suspect, known initially through police paperwork as "Baby Boy," was lured into a trap after police tagged along for the exchange and arrested him at gunpoint. When Mr. Boy (later found to be Randy-Jay Adolphos Jones, which is only slightly better) was questioned, he just couldn't put a finger on why he blurted out the $185k figure versus something more reasonable, but hey, not everyone can be right on top of current market conditions, right?

[Via The Raw Feed]

A 21-year-old Aussie is looking at up to five years behind bars after being charged with "uploading a pirated copy of The Simpsons Movie on the internet." Interestingly enough, his weapon of choice was not an uber-small camcorder, rather, he chose to record the entire film with his mobile phone on its first day in cinemas. Merely hours after returning home, the footage was already making the rounds on the 'net, but he has since been arrested after having his home raided by Federal Police. Adrianne Pecotic, executive director of the Australian Federation Against Copyright Theft, was quoted as saying that mobile phones had "advanced to the point where users could do a lot of damage" with its built-in video recording abilities, and also noted that pirates were "increasingly ditching handycams for smaller mobile phones."

[Thanks, Geoff]

Joining the growing list of celebrities who can't quit using their cellphones to beat up on others is Foxy Brown, who was recently "charged with assault and possession of a weapon" after allegedly hitting a neighbor with her BlackBerry. Of course, this isn't the first time Foxy's temper has flared up, but when she was confronted over the volume of her stereo system, the handset came out (a few days later, mind you) for purposes other than texting, talking, or capturing the impending battle for future viewing. So, you may be wondering how much damage a flung BlackBerry can do, and if that's the case, here's your answer: the victim was left with a cut lip and a loose tooth.

It's no big secret that some clever inmates find a way to get a mobile phone whilst imprisoned, but rather than phoning for a getaway van, drugs, or a spare battery, the individuals at Hewell Grange apparently enjoy the finer things in life. According to a report from an ex-inmate, he witnessed a number of citizens placing "massive" orders for food, and thanks to equally cunning takeaway drivers, the prison claims to have "no record" of any disallowed exchanges taking place. Granted, the prison is one that affords certain freedoms to the well behaved inmates just before they are released back into the community, but to be frank, it sounds like some of the residents may be better off just hanging around.

[Via Textually]

It goes without saying that talking whilst driving (let alone texting) isn't exactly the safest practice, and unfortunately for a British teenager, she could have four solid years to think about it. Rachel Begg, who was found to have used her cellphone nine different times in the 15 minutes prior to crashing into a grandmother's vehicle and subsequently killing her, was recently found guilty and sentenced to four years in prison. To make matters worse, Begg was driving nearly 70 miles-per-hour on a dark, rainy night, and the judge reportedly emphasized how costly her lack of reason was. Better leave the texting 'til after the ride's over, eh?

[Via Textually, image courtesy of BrockportStylus]

We're quite aware of the mayhem that went on during the buildup to the iPhone launch, and while it may cross someone's mind to purloin the oh-so-coveted device just hours before it went on sale to the public, we can't imagine a Fox News microphone being an acceptable substitute. 'Course, we've no way of really reading the vigilante's mind, but a brief iPhone interview was cut even shorter by a random mic stealer. Click on through for the zaniness as it happened, and kudos to the reporter on not just bailing out while she had the chance.

[Thanks, Matt]

Stealing £3 million ($5.94 million) worth of mobile phones sure sounds like a risky way to may a buck, but if you're going to jack mobile handsets, you might as well swipe the ones that depreciate the least, eh? A crew of four men in Europe apparently agreed with that mantra, as they got up the nerve to run a Vertu van off the road with their Subaru and reportedly swiped a fair amount of handsets before darting off. There was no word on just how many phones were actually stolen, but we're sure the boys in blue found a fully stocked trunk after it located the crashed vehicle in Slough, Banks. Two of the four masked bandits were later captured and arrested for their part in the heist, but the other duo is probably trying to figure out how in the world they would unload hordes of these highly sought after mobiles without garnering suspicion in the first place.

[Via BGR]

What good is a stolen phone that's been blacklisted from networks, and the nefarious individuals formerly responsible for flashing them back into use have been scared off by the threat of five years' jail time? Not much good at all, we say, and a new study suggests that the UK's new laws fighting phone theft may be extraordinarily effective. On request from the government, the country's big five operators have started blocking stolen phones -- often within hours, and a full 80 percent within two days. Add in the fact that a new law taking effect this week makes handset reprogramming (to circumvent blacklisting) punishable by five years in the pokey and limitless fines, and we suspect a lot of these small-time criminals are going to be looking for new lines of work.

You should already know that the Grand Canyon State isn't exactly kosher with rampant tailgating, so actually ramming someone's vehicle due to a personal conflict you have with them isn't likely to get you a whole lot of mercy. Subsequently, a 58-year old male is facing jail time due to his inability to turn the other cheek when he drove up on another motorist who was casually yapping on their cellphone. Rather than simply signing to hang up or doing nothing at all, Mr. Asselin felt it was in both of their best interests if they had a verbal exchange whilst cruising down the avenue, and to make matters worse, the curiously enraged driver reportedly ran the talker into oncoming traffic where the cellphone-using victim narrowly escaped death. Notably, several witnessed deemed the whole event akin to something we'd see "in a movie," but unless you've got Transporter-like skills, we wouldn't recommend trying to reenact this in your home state, no matter your feelings on driving while connected.

[Via Fark]

We've seen cellphones turn into brutal weaponry more than a few times in our day, but in the latest unsolved mystery of a handset ending up in a potentially unfaithful SO's throat, it looks like justice is about to be served. Although it was previously assumed that a scandalous girlfriend attempted to swallow her mobile in order to prevent a suspicious boyfriend from finding out who was in her contact book, it now sounds like the enraged male in the situation could've forced it down there. In an admittedly awkward twist, a "jury convicted Marlon Gill of second-degree domestic assault" as they blamed him for putting her phone where her mouth is. Notably, jurors couldn't come to an agreement on an appropriate sentence, which means the decision will be left up to the judge, and personally, we feel the punishment should be much more severe if the mobile in question were of the smartphone (read: jumbo) variety.

[Thanks, Lunar Dog]

Alright, so we're taking this one at face value, but according to an admittedly weird report in Asia, Guangzhou residents should be on the lookout for a clever pup who looks mighty innocent, but is reportedly a "hardened criminal." After locating the dog in a Panyu District home, the owner was surprised to see the mysterious creature cease playing with his daughter, dart over to his cellphone, and make a break for the exit. According to local police, it's becoming somewhat common to see "thieves training canines" to sneak into homes and swipe cellphones for crooks to resell. While it would certainly be easy to brush this off as completely ludicrous, the idea actually isn't that far-fetched, as an English Springer Spaniel is already on patrol in UK prisons sniffing out and retrieving mobiles that were brought into the jails without consent. So if you're strolling through Guangzhou, make sure that cellie is well covered, cool?

[Via Textually]

While we figured the NYPD could just install Magic Message Mirrors in every mafia hotspot in the Manhattan area, the Genovese family has proven quite the eagle-eyed bunch when it comes to spotting wiretaps, tailing, and other (failed) attempts of bugging their conversations. In order to tap into critical conversations by known mafioso and other, less glamorous criminals, police are utilizing a "roving bug" technique which remotely activates the microphone of a crime lord's cellie, giving the boys in blue convenient access to their secret agenda(s). The presumably controversial tapping was recently approved by top US DoJ officials "for use against members of a New York organized crime family who were wary of conventional surveillance techniques." Software hacks (and actual phones, too) have previously allowed such dodgy eavesdropping to occur, with "Nextel, Samsung, and Motorola" handsets proving particularly vulnerable, but this widespread approach in tracking down criminal conversations could hopefully pinpoint future targets where prior attempts failed. Of course, if mafia members hit the internet every now and then, they're probably removing those batteries right about now anyway.