Last time we checked, the true challenge in speedy texting was overcoming the numeric keypad. Just ask Ben Cook or Ang Chuang Yang -- two of the world's quickest -- about what it's like to belt out a meaningless sequence of 160 characters without even the benefit of predictive text entry to ease the task. Alas, for LG, it's hard to pimp your QWERTY-equipped VX9900 enV in a contest that requires the use of the digit keys alone -- so it bent the rules for its $25,000 texting championship held in New York City this weekend, requiring that entrants do their thing on the enV's generous (relatively speaking) full keyboard. Morgan Pozgar, a 13 year old Pennsylvanian, bested 21 year old Eli Tirosh in the final round to walk away with the crown and the $25,000 booty by accurately texting "Supercalifragilisticexpialidoucious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious," something Tirosh failed to do. How does it feel to have an asterisk permanently affixed next to your "World's Fastest Texter" title, Ms. Pozgar? Shall we give sprinters roller skates in the Olympics next year, too?

Where we come from, trying to participate in a texting context with a QWERTY device is called "cheating," but we guess LG has some obligation to push the text-tastic capabilities of its V and enV handsets, so we'll cut 'em some slack here. In fact, the V and enV are the only devices LG's allowing in the competition -- with active Verizon service to match, of course -- so we suppose that sorta levels the playing field a bit. It seems LG wants to turn this into a costal battle, too, with the West Coast qualifier going down on the 31st of this month and its eastern counterpart rocking on the 21st of April; the winner from each gets ten grand and a trip to New York City to compete in the $15,000 final. Good luck, cheaters (don't worry, we still love ya).